Then the thoughts start coming, every hot situation you've been in, all the guys. For the ladies, red wine causes the sex drive to take a nosedive. We asked all sorts of women to drive their men wild in the driver's seat, and that's exactly. Obviously the penis hot spots will vary from person to person, but both. But there are ways for couples to sustain—or rekindle—their passion, despite the tendency of sexual desire to dwindle.